Living in the Netherlands
Perhaps you and your parents have to get used to life in the Netherlands. To the culture and customs, as these are different here to the county you or your parents come from and fled from. This can sometimes cause problems, because you are getting used to Dutch culture and they aren’t yet.
This is because you go to school here and have Dutch friends. Plus, you speak the language well. Your parents aren’t allowed to go to school. They have a lot less contact with the Dutch, so they are less used to Dutch customs and they often don’t speak the language very well.
What are the differences in culture? The way in which Dutch children are raised is often different. Dutch children learn to stand up for themselves at school and at home. If they don’t agree with something, they are allowed to say this.
This isn’t the same in many countries. For instance, in many countries where child refugees come from, stating your opinion is rude. This is what children learn there, while you learn to stand up for yourself here. This is good. You learn at school that you can say if you don’t agree with something. Your parents may find it rude if you say that you don’t agree with their decision. This could cause problems.
Looking for help
Help of a confidant
Sometimes problems become too big and then it may not be nice to be at home or to go home after school. You no longer feel comfortable or you argue with your parents about these types of subjects.
Sometimes talking about it with a ‘confidant’ can help, for instance a school teacher or a neighbour.
Each asylum seekers centre also has a confidant. This is someone of the COA. He or she is there for these types of questions. You can make an appointment with him or her to talk about your problems without others knowing about this and without your parents. However, a confidant can also talk to you and your parents about your problems together and help look for a solution.